Lyrics Meme // Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been (Relient K) // YunJae

“I heard the reverberating footsteps / Synching up to the beating of my heart
And I was positive that unless I got myself together / I would watch me fall apart”

jaejoong doesn’t have a problem— each gratifying shot of soju he downs every night convinces him of just that. ‘i need this,’ he thinks as the alcohol burns its way down his throat, licking at the pit of his stomach. ‘so what if it’s a few more than most people?’ but there’s certainly no problem.

it’s usually not until 3AM that he (sometimes) manages to stumble home from the bar, crying as he dry-heaves behind a closed bathroom door. yunho has long since stopped expecting anything different; he’s made friends with the broken promises of change. he listens to the muffled sounds of retching while lying in bed and tries to think back to the days when he cared enough to get up.

‘i hate myself,’ jaejoong slurs and sobs into the taller man’s chest once he’s crawled into bed. ‘i hate myself.’  but one day he wakes up to empty sheets and solitude and hates himself even more.

no note, no explanation, no second chances.

the sky is perfectly blue the day yunho leaves.

//waves fist at Eryneu

(via yunlatte)